A Bad Reason for Returning to the Institution: Failure to Find a Small Group

The feeling of leaving the church institution behind is an exhilarating one. The shackles are off and it's time to be the church God wants us to be! Woo-hoo!

This wonderful feeling is often accompanied by an expectation that it will be relatively simple to find like-minded believers. Not so fast. Sometimes it's very difficult to come in contact with Christians who hold to a simple view of the body of Christ. After leaving the institution, believers frequently wander in the wilderness attempting to locate a small group with which to meet. After a while some of these believers even return to the institution due to the lack of fellowship.

The struggle is real.

(This is part three of my ten part series entitled Ten Bad Reasons for Returning to the Institution.)

One of the primary reasons Christians leave institutional trappings behind is that they desire true fellowship and community. Worship services, Sunday School, potluck dinners, etc. fail to provide people with the opportunity to truly get to know one another. Because of this, they depart. Departure does not, however, necessarily lead to a quick finding of community. For many the search takes quite some time.

One reason for this is that simple church does not advertise itself. People who gather simply generally do so without much fanfare. These groups can be very difficult to locate. Therefore, when other Christians say good-bye to the institution, they sometimes cannot find anybody to meet with (even if they happen to live right down the street).

Failure to find a small group can be frustrating and depressing. After a while, some Christians even drag themselves back to the institution (often very unhappily). Let me be clear: this is not a good idea. It will only lead to misery.

But what if you leave and cannot find anybody to meet with? My suggestion is to continue to pray about it and continue to look. Also, pray that God would give you opportunity to share your faith. New believers are often extremely open to meeting simply; they do not have tradition-based hangups. Invite new believers over to your home. It's amazing what can happen when Christians eat together. Food and fellowship truly do go together.

Fact: it is not fun at all when you cannot locate other believers to gather with. It can be a very dark time. This does not mean, however, that you were incorrect to leave the institution. Rather, it may simply be a time that God uses to test your faith. Rely on the Lord and keep looking. Use your own home as a place to gather. Invite new believers. Meet days other than Sundays.

Don't go back to the institution. That decision will only lead to regret, pain, and sorrow. Rather, keep looking for others. And then look some more.

Linking: Doubling Up At Church – Filling Our Week With Extra Programs Because Sunday Isn’t Meeting Our Spiritual Needs

A few years ago Kathleen Ward wrote an excellent, short post that happens to have a long title: Doubling Up At Church – Filling Our Week With Extra Programs Because Sunday Isn’t Meeting Our Spiritual Needs. I highly encourage you to read it.

Kathleen points out that many churches are becoming increasingly busy because the folks desire community but aren't getting it on Sundays. The shape of the Sunday ceremony, pews and all, keeps the body from truly being together. This in turn forces increased meetings during the week just to be able to fellowship.

The Sunday form is the problem.

Positive Acts - Some Sweet Fellowship

I try not to get jealous. Really, I do.

I try not to get jealous when I read Acts 2:42-47. However, the picture that Luke paints of the sweet fellowship in the early church is almost irresistible. Quite frankly, it is exactly what I want but cannot seem to find.

The early church had its problems (see here for example). Despite those difficulties, the believers managed to spend a great deal of time together as a large family. We see this:

And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved (Acts 2:42-47, ESV).

What a beautiful portrait of what church life can be!

When I read this passage several things jump out at me:

1. The church gathered simply. They got together, learned from and with the apostles, ate meals, and prayed.
2. The church met frequently.
3. The church experienced signs and wonders.
4. The church gladly shared all they had with each other.
5. The church was viewed positively by those around them.
6. The church grew significantly.

When I take all this in one more thing strikes me: there is nothing in scripture to suggest that this same thing cannot happen today. The only difference is that we do not have the apostles with us. However, this does not matter because we have the Holy Spirit to empower us and the scriptures to instruct us. Each and every aspect of this fabulous passage in Acts 2 is a possibility today. We can experience this!

Instead of moping around feeling jealous of the early church, I am more determined than ever to do two things. First, I'm going to pray that God will use me to edify other believers whenever and wherever. Second, I'll be praying more earnestly than ever that God will bless me to be part of a fellowship something like what we see in Acts 2. I encourage you to do the same.

Is the Return to Rome Worth It?

Disclaimer: in this post I'm strictly dealing with church issues and not with the gospel itself. Additionally, for the purposes of this piece I could also have selected Wittenberg, Geneva, Canterbury, or any other place largely associated with institutionalized religion.


If you are convinced that the biblical model of church life is correct but cannot find it, what would it require for you to return to the institution? I've been pondering this a bit lately, but have never truly considered it as an option. It is interesting to think about.

Numerous Christians that we know here in Savannah are content in their church lives. They are convinced that they are edified through good fellowship in their institutional settings. It's difficult to know how much of this is a case of "ignorance is bliss," but nevertheless these believers appear happy.

I long for that contentment and happiness. Could it be found within institutional walls? I believe it can, as long as someone is not fully convicted about the model presented in scripture being the model for church life today. If I actually started visiting institutional worship services and small groups I believe I would feel ill, even if I enjoyed it, because I'd be violating my convictions. It's just not worth it.

If Rome is not an option, then what is?

The option currently for my wife and me is to find fellowship where we can and when we can. It also means gathering in our home with just our family for the time being. It means interacting with all sorts of folks online through this blog (not an ideal situation I admit, but better than nothing).

Simple church life is, almost by definition, life on the fringes. If church history tells us three things, it is that the institution does not change, is not inviting to those who want change, and will reject those who hope for change unless they bow the knee to institutional practices. This being the case, there is no reason to try to significantly alter the organization from the inside. If you seek fellowship within the institution, what you will get is institutional fellowship.

I cannot think of a solid reason to return to Rome. I may be lonely at times, but convictions are strong things.

What about you? What would or could make you go back to institutional church? Why?

Wandering in Church Wasteland

I've reached that point. I'm wandering in fellowship wasteland that appears to have no end in sight.

This does not mean that I have no contact with other believers. I see Christian folks here and there throughout the week. However, this usually just amounts to quick conversations about the basics of life that are no different from what non-Christians discuss. As for real fellowship, I'm seeking it but not finding it. "Wandering in wasteland" may seem like more than a little hyperbole, but it's not. I want to share life with other believers, but it is nearly impossible (or so it seems) to find others who desire to follow the biblical model.

You may be right in the middle of this same wasteland. Or, you may have been there in the past. It is not pleasant. When we look in scripture, especially at the one another passages, we see that we need each other for spiritual growth. Mutual edification is difficult to come by when there's nobody there to be mutual with.

I long to be part of a family/community of Christ-followers where everyone is active and everyone is needed. It's an odd thing to know what you want and to think that it is what God wants for you, but not to be able to take part in it.

I realize that this could be in large part my fault. Maybe I'm being too selective. Maybe my family should just go to a worship service, seeking fellowship there. Maybe we ought to visit with some sort of preexisting small group/life group from a large church. However, when I look in scripture I don't see any of these things.

I haven't yet given up hope. However, I also don't see anything positive on the horizon. To continue with this post's metaphor, I see no oasis in sight. Rather, it's just more large sand dunes in every direction.

For now I'll just keep on wandering.

Where Are All the Simple Church Folks?

Where are they?

Where are all the simple church people? I know they are out there; many are seeking fellowship with other believers. And yet, they are difficult to find.

More and more Christians are done with the institutional model of church. I'm one of those Dones. If you are reading this blog, chances are fairly good that you are a Done, too (or are at least considering it). For your sake I hope you have close fellowship with other believers because it can be very difficult to find. If the institution does one thing well, it's that it makes it obvious both when and where meetings are taking place.

Why is it difficult to come in contact with other believers who are seeking authentic relationships in a simple model? One reason, as I alluded to above, is that it's not obvious during the normal comings and goings of life who simple church Christians are. Frankly, it's usually difficult to even spot the Christians, much less those looking for something different from the institutional norm. We don't wear patches that say "Seeking Simple Church" or anything like that.

Additionally, most folks who have departed the institution are wary of getting involved too quickly with other Christians. This is because of scarring from what they've left behind. Nobody wants to get into another bad situation.

A third factor is that Christians in general are increasingly looking for true relationships. Even those within the institutional walls want to really know people. As for simple church, those seeking it do not want anything forced; they want it to be natural. This takes time. Because we don't want to rush into making a mistake, sometimes very little ends up happening.

A final hurdle that we have to deal with is living in the Bible Belt. In the southern USA most folks still trust institutional Christianity. This is much more the case here than in other locales. It's weird. I'll be thrilled when these last remnants of Christendom pass away (which will occur I'm convinced within the next 25 years). For now, not that many Christians here are looking outside the institution because they still see it as a really good thing.

I apologize for the rambling nature of this post. My hope is that you can sense my struggles. It is difficult to want something real, something authentic, something wonderful but not be able to find it. I'm not seeking heaven on this side of death. However, I'm looking for something that I read about in the book of Acts. So far no success.

Running, Beer, and Fellowship

Today I ran in the Savannah River Bridge Run. It was my first race in several years and I'm pleased with how I did (finished the 5K in 26-27 minutes and didn't collapse). My employer (JCB) was kind enough to pay the registration fee and provide T-shirts (see photo above). About ten of us from JCB ran in the race. Some posed for the above photo. That's me on the far right looking like a giant; everyone else is actually short.

As a bonus, several of the runners wore silly costumes. I saw Elvis Presley before the race. Near the end of the race I ran past a guy dressed as an elf; shortly after this a Gene Simmons impersonator ran past me. He was dressed in full KISS gear and was even carrying an American flag.

After the race our JCB team hung out for a while in the finishing area. There was music, food, soda, and beer. Everyone else in the group grabbed a beer. So did I. Not only did I grab it, I also drank the whole thing. My purpose in this was not for the taste (it was actually a sort of gross light beer). Rather, I wanted to spend time with some co-workers and do what they were doing. If I hadn't had a beer things would have been awkward. By having a drink with them, we were all able to just stand around and fellowship for a while. I hardly knew any of them prior to the race. It was a great opportunity to start some relationships.

Just a few years ago I probably would not have had a beer. I would have viewed my not drinking as some sort of righteous stand for Christ. What a bunch of poppycock. Part of the reason some non-Christians are turned off to Christianity is because some Christians just act so weird. Let me make this clear: there is nothing wrong with Christians drinking alcohol. The sin comes when drunkenness begins.

As followers of Jesus, we need to do whatever it takes to build relationships. It is often through these relationships that people are willing to hear about Jesus Christ in a meaningful way for the first time. I'm not suggesting that relationships are a means to an end; they are an end in themselves. However, they also offer tremendous opportunity for sharing about Christ.

So, I ran a race, drank a beer, and had some nice fellowship. It made for a good morning.

Fellowship?

Communion and Fellowship

I find it terribly ironic that most churches do not celebrate Communion in their Fellowship Halls. Instead, the sanctuary/worship center is the place.

The irony is that the words "communion" and "fellowship" are nearly synonymous. Additionally, most times in life a supper is held in a room for eating. In light of this, a room designed from free-flowing fellowship and robust eating seems like a perfect spot for Communion.

Not the What but the Who

(A word of clarification, when I write "The Who" I'm not referring to these guys.)

Because of our two week trip to New York State and our visit to Chevis Oaks last Sunday, we haven't met with our church family in over a month. I know that Sunday gatherings are not the only time we should see the church, but the reality is that in the busyness of life, Sunday is when we get to see most of the people for the longest period of time.

A month is a long time to go without getting together. We miss our friends a great deal and are anticipating the wonderful fellowship we will have together tomorrow. I don't know exactly what will happen, but I have a good idea of who I will see.

As I think about tomorrow, I realize that it is not the what, but the who that is important. It is the people that matter much more than what actually happens. Frankly, (within biblical standards) I don't really care what happens. I'm sure there will be much talking, singing, encouragement, discussion of scripture, praying, etc. Those things will certainly be good. Oh, and there will as always be eating (how could I forget that?).

Although those aspects of the gathering are great, they are not what I look forward to the most. It's the people that matter. They are what I am thinking about.

I'm not trying to create some sort of false dichotomy here. What we do involves the people, and the people are the ones we do the things with. My point is simply that the specific activities are of little importance compared to the people.

We should all ask ourselves an important question: Is there any activity that we believe must occur when we gather as the church? If there is something, then we are probably placing a bit too much emphasis on the what instead of the who. What is most important is the church.

All of this must certainly happen within the context of glorifying the triune God through edification that leads to increased holiness, care for others, and sharing of the gospel. However, no one specific thing must happen in order for edification to take place.

As we ponder church gatherings, whenever they happen, let's simply remember that what matters is the people. The activities, while important, must remain secondary.

Teaching and Admonishing One Another in All Wisdom

In Paul's letter to the Colossians, the apostle spends quite a bit of time discussing the preeminence of Jesus Christ. Paul is concerned that false teachers might be leading the Christians astray. He writes this letter primarily to counteract this significant problem.

As is typical with Paul, toward the end of his letter he exhorts the readers to live out holy lives together. After instructing the Colossians to put to death various forms of sinful attitudes and behaviors, Paul writes the following amazing paragraph:

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:12-17 (emphasis mine)

That's quite a standard for us to live by. The entire paragraph carries the force of one large imperative. We are clearly expected to live far differently than the world lives.

As we read these words, we generally accept that fact that we are commanded to live according to them. However, I wonder if we think very much about the phrase, "teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom."

It Can Get Messy

Last week as we gathered it got messy for a few minutes. One child in the group accidentally dropped a bottle of soda on the floor. The photo on the left shows what happened. Carbonated liquid shot about seven feet into the air and landed on one man's back, a desk, the counter, and a few other places. It was sticky and yucky.

This was a tangible reminder to me that church gatherings can get messy. Explosive soda is a relatively small thing. However, sometimes more significant things happen. Sometimes personal interactions can get messy and be explosive. Why is this? The reason is that we are all real people with real problems. We are not all alike. We have preferences and opinions. We are also sinful.

In a setting where we are all free to talk about whatever we believe the Spirit leads us to discuss, sometimes things get messy. If we are willing to be real with one another, this is almost guaranteed to occasionally happen. Because we are humans, we will see things differently from time to time. This leads to disagreement about certain issues. The key is how we handle this. The goal should be edification through the process. In striving for this, we will sometimes have success and sometimes not. I hope mostly for the positive.

I would have it no other way. Little edification can happen when messiness is ruled out through planned ceremonies. Edification occurs when we encourage, exhort, rebuke, teach, listen to, hug, etc. each other. In this setting, we can all together strive for greater obedience to Christ.

Messiness is real. Messiness is a sign that good things can happen. I hope they do.

Preaching for Fellowship and Joy

"That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life - the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us - that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete." I John 1:1-4

I love to read about John's motivation for sharing the gospel with others. In the introduction to I John, we read that John proclaimed the gospel in order to have fellowship in Christ with others. John recognizes that a certain, special type of fellowship exists between Christian brothers and sisters that is unique in this world. The apostle has a desire to share this fellowship with others.

This fellowship brings joy. John writes this proclamation about Christ in order to complete his joy. This is joy that comes from being in relationship with Jesus Christ and one another. This intimate relationship comes only through the gospel.

I wonder what our motivation is when we preach (proclaim, herald, announce) Christ. Do we do it out of some sort of guilt or compulsion?

We can learn much from John in this short paragraph.  John heralds the good news that Christ came in the flesh. John is an eye witness. John's motivation is sweet communion with the readers of this epistle. This precious fellowship that brings great joy can only come through oneness in Christ.

Let's preach Christ so, like John, we may have Christ's fellowship with each other. The result is great joy.

Thankful for a Christian Co-Worker

After resigning from professional pastoring, I had no idea what type of work God would place me in (if you are interested in my reasoning for resigning, click here).

After a few months of odd jobs, God graciously provided me with a position at JC Bamford here in Savannah. Upon beginning my new occupation, I was immediately reminded that we live in a largely secular culture. Each day I'm surrounded by folks whose patterns of speech (in language and topic) do not, at all, reflect a Christian worldview.

This was no surprise to me. What was a bit shocking was that I could find no one else who seemed to be a follower of Christ. Of course I don't have the time to get to know everyone in the facility, but of the people I came in contact with, no one seemed to be a Christian.

I prayed to the Lord to provide me with one Christian co-worker. God has answered.

House Church - Challenges (Part 1)

Thus far in this extended series on house church life I've focused primarily on positive aspects. The reality, however, is that house churches have challenges as well. The main reason for this is that, like all churches, house fellowships are composed of people. Since we all still struggle with sin, we will inevitably face challenges.

As I've thought through various challenges, I managed to boil it down to ten.  I'll address five in this post and five more in the next.  Some of these challenges are things that I've experienced while others I've simply read about.

1. Pride. I believe this is the greatest danger to any church including house churches. When we act prideful, we are basically saying that we know best, we act best, and we are best. Yikes.

This can be a particular challenge within the house church as it relates to how the church should function. First, we can become prideful in our attitudes toward those in institutional/traditional churches. Since most within the house church have made a decision to leave institutional churches for biblical reasons, it is dangerously easy to slide into the sin of thinking we are somehow better. Second, even within the house church itself we can get prideful in how we think things "should be." This may be how we think the gathering should go, when we should get together, what leadership should look like, etc., etc., etc.

We must always be on the lookout for pride in our lives. We are no better than anyone else. We must remember this.

Holy Spirit Control

Confession time: I am sort of a control-freak. I don't have to work at it; rather it comes quite naturally. I'm generally pleased in any situation as long as I think I know what is going to happen, when it will happen, and how it will happen.

I've realized that I have been thinking this way even during our church family gatherings. Yesterday as we came together, we began by singing some songs, reading scripture, and praying.  I was comfortable because I could have predicted this. Then something happened that was unexpected (at least for me).

On Missing Fellowship

I've been battling the flu - and losing - for the past five days.  Most of our family is now sick with one thing or another.  Because of this we are not able to gather with our church friends today.  I really wish we could be there.

Something special happens when the church comes together.  If you have ever been a part of a loving church family, then you know what I'm talking about.  The gathering is far more than an encouragement-club of some kind.  When the church gathers, Christ is truly present with us.  He shows Himself to us through our interactions with others.