I've realized that I have been thinking this way even during our church family gatherings. Yesterday as we came together, we began by singing some songs, reading scripture, and praying. I was comfortable because I could have predicted this. Then something happened that was unexpected (at least for me).
A woman who was visiting with us - she is a family member of some in our church family - began singing a song. She gave no introduction, but just began singing a solo. It was loud and full of vigor. Wow. First I was sort of stunned. Then I began to worry that she might (gasp!) sing something that I didn't find theologically accurate. My control-freakishness was coming to the forefront.
At that point God intervened by giving me a sort of smack to the spiritual face. It was as if God said to me something like, "Don't you think my Holy Spirit can control this gathering? Why do you have to determine exactly what is acceptable and what is not? Just who do you think you are?"
The great part about God doing this was that it showed me my faults and at the same time caused me to relax and enjoy the remainder of the song. It was beautiful. When this lady finished singing, she gave us a word of thanks and exhortation to continue following after Christ. What a blessing! And to think that I could have missed out due to my control issues.
The reality is that God is far bigger than we are. The Holy Spirit does just fine controlling the gatherings of His church. My little preferences and areas of comfort are not that important.
As a matter of faith and selflessness, I need to actively give up trying to control our gatherings. If I do try to control them, this will do more harm than good. Not only is the Holy Spirit far more powerful than I am, He's also much wiser and infinitely better (no surprise there).
I thank the Lord for showing me very clearly that He is in control and doesn't need me. I look forward to future gatherings not thinking that I need to somehow make sure everything is "O.K." It's God's gathering. He can and will do what He wants to with it.
To use a bit of a weak analogy: I'm going along for the ride, but I'm no longer going to try to drive the bus.