Wednesday, January 5, 2011

You Too Can Be a Young, Hip Mega-Church Pastor

This morning Alice was looking at the website of yet another new church plant (sigh) here in Savannah. The church has one of those glossy websites where everything looks pre-packaged and businesslike. As usual, the website makes a big deal of the pastor.

Alice asked me what I thought the pastor looks like. That got me thinking. What do almost all young, hip mega-church hopeful pastors look like these days? It strikes me that there are three aspects of their appearance that are critical to success.

First, the hair must be gelled.

Second, funky glasses must be worn whether needed or not.

Third, facial hair must be present on at least the chin (full goatee is optional).

Even if you are not young, you can still aspire to be a hip mega-church pastor if you will simply follow the above steps.

By the way, when Alice showed me the photo of the new church planter/pastor in Savannah, he met all three criteria.


Alan Knox said...

Well, I guess I'm just completely out of luck. 1) My hair is too thin for gel. 2) I wear contacts and can't stand glasses (even fake glasses) unless they are absolutely necessary. 3) I can't grow facial hair.

I suppose I'll have to just stick with making disciples and leave the mega-church pastoring to someone else.

By the way, I think you should probably add "Fourth, hang out in a coffee shop with their Mac." (I can do that one.)


Eric said...


Sorry you didn't make the cut. You're goal of making Messiah Baptist the next mega-church is bound to fail. Maybe you could at least get a tattoo of some kind.

Aussie John said...


I'm chuckling about Alan's comment, and thinking: I'm too ancient to be young, gel on what hair I have would look like a snow halo, plenty of snow on the chin. Hmmmn!

I suppose I'm past it. Oh, well!

Eric said...


You could at least have the glasses and chin hair. Two out of three might be acceptable. You could be an associate, hip, mega-church pastor.

reformedlostboy said...

I wonder if that is the same pastor we built the extreme makeover house for. He fits your description perfectly and the church he leads is supposed to officially launch soon.

Eric said...


He's the one!