House Church - What About Women?

I almost avoided this issue altogether because it can be an emotional and divisive one. However, I figured that would be a cop-out, so here goes:

We must first be aware of the difference between worth and role. The two are not the same. Regarding worth, God cares for men and women equally. We read in Galatians 3:28, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Please keep in mind that this verse falls in the context of salvation, not role in the church.

That women have worth is also clear in that they are part of the church body, and the body needs all parts to function in order for the body as whole to work. Paul writes in I Corinthians 12:14-20, "For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body."

In the life of the church women hold the same value as men. I can say from experience that if women were not actively involved in the life of the church, it would cease to function immediately.

But what about role? How does God's plan differ for men and women in this area?

From the beginning in Eden, we see that God gives Adam a helper in Eve. Throughout the bible we see men in positions of leadership. When it comes to the church, the positions of elder and deacon are reserved for men.

This in no way devalues women. It is simply God's plan for his church.

As the church gathers, God has roles for men's and women's involvement. We read verses that restrict women's speech. What is the reason for this? I'm not sure, although it's probably in place to force men to take the leadership role. If there is a problem, it is with the men, not the women.

We read two passages in I Corinthians that deal with role and speech:

I Corinthians 11:4-5, "Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven."

I Corinthians 14:26-35, "What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God. Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. If a revelation is made to another sitting there, let the first be silent. For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged, and the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets. For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church."

We know that scripture does not contradict itself. Interestingly, the first passage above mentions women praying and prophesying. The second passage says that women should keep silent in the churches. What is going on?

I believe the first passage falls in the context of the church gathering and at the same time clearly allows for women to speak. The second passage, therefore, must be talking about a specific aspect of the gathering. In my opinion, Paul is telling the women that they are not to pass judgment upon prophecy given by a man. Instead, she is to ask her husband about it at home. This is the specific restriction.

We read something else in I Timothy 2:11-12. Paul says, "Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet."

Within the church family, women are given the opportunity to learn. However, they are not "to teach or to exercise authority over a man." This seems straight forward to me.

These verses encourage men to actively take leadership roles in the church. Let's remember something important: leadership in the bible takes the form of loving, sacrificial servanthood.

So what does all this look like in the house church? I can't speak for all house churches or even most, but I can describe our gatherings.

As we come together, I've noticed that the gatherings tend to have three parts. This is less purposeful than it is just what naturally happens. As the families arrive, the men tend to talk together in one place, the women talk and prepare the food in the kitchen, and the kids scatter to all corners of the house. After 20-30 minutes of this, we gradually make our way to the living room.

We generally sit in a big circle of sorts - yesterday's had 25 people. This is our time of prayer, singing, exhortation, scripture reading, teaching, etc. that attempts to follow the I Cor. 14 model. It is during this time that the restriction of women's speech comes most clearly into play. The ladies do not teach scripture or call into authority the speech of a man present. Other than that, they are free to speak. Frankly, I love to hear the ladies talk. They have a different perspective than I do on many things. I both want and need to hear what they have to say. Yesterday my wife Alice spoke for a few minutes about Satan attacking during preparations for the meeting. She pointed us to Ephesians 6. I was edified by this, and I could sense that others were as well.

Some families in our fellowship have a different interpretation of I Cor. 14 than Alice and I do. They choose to not have their wives speak at all during this portion of the gathering. We have discussed this, and have agreed that we can and should remain united even with these differences.

The third part of the meeting, and my favorite, is the Lord's Supper. And thank God for the women when it comes to this. If it was just us men, we would be eating bread, grape juice, and frozen pizza. Yesterday we had a spread with an Asian flair. It was fantastic. During this time we tend to gather in small groups and talk about our lives. There really is something about eating together that brings about both an intimacy and freedom of conversation (when your mouth isn't full, of course).

Let me quickly summarize this way: Women are created by God and are just as valued by God as men are. There can be no doubt or debate about this.

God has specific plans for his church that involve differing roles for men and women (as in marriage). Regarding the meeting, the bible indicates specific restrictions on women's speech. I'm convinced this has more to do with the faults of men (tendency toward slothfulness) than anything else. When these restrictions are followed, the gatherings can be extremely beneficial to all involved.

The church desperately needs all members of its family to contribute to body life. Women are of great significance. Without them, the church cannot function.