Thursday, August 26, 2010

Vote Now for Your Favorite All-Star Pastor!

(WARNING: This post is satirical. Please don't actually vote.)

In light of our obsession with all-stars in this culture, you can now vote for your favorite all-star pastor! Why should the athletes and actors get all the headlines? Vote now to promote those who do the most for Jesus!

There are a few simple rules to follow:

1. The person has to be living (I'm sorry if Jonathan Edwards is your homeboy. You're not allowed to vote for dead people).

2. You can vote for anyone who is a pastor, theologian, seminary president, seminary professor, etc. Don't worry - their theology doesn't matter.

3. You may only vote one time for one person.

4. As in basketball, the top five vote-getters will compose the "starting five." The next seven will make up the "bench."

5. You can vote by calling this toll-free number: 1-888-BEST-PASTOR.

6. Vote for any of the following or feel free to vote for someone not on the list:

Thabiti Anyabwile
Voddie Baucham
Alistair Begg
Rob Bell
D.A. Carson
Francis Chan
Chuck Colson
Mark Dever
James Dobson
Mark Driscoll
Sinclair Ferguson
Norman Geisler
Billy Graham
Franklin Graham
Wayne Grudem
Josh Harris
Johnny Hunt
Bill Hybels
T.D. Jakes
David Jeremiah
Tim Keller
Tim Lahaye
John MacArthur
C.J. Mahaney
Brian McLaren
Joyce Meyer
Albert Mohler
Joel Osteen
J.I. Packer
John Piper
R.C. Sproul
John Stott
Jerry Vines
Frank Viola
Rick Warren
N.T. Wright
Philip Yancey
Ravi Zacharias

Call Now! Let them know how much you love and admire them. Tell them through your vote how much you want to be like them!

If you vote right now, you have a really good shot at receiving a free copy of a hand-autographed book written by your favorite person. Don't wait! Vote now!

Results will be provided in a few days. Thanks.

(Reminder: This post is satirical. Please don't actually vote. Thanks.)


Anonymous said...

My vote is for the pastor of a small church in Savannah, GA. You may have heard of him, maybe not. His name is Eric Carpenter. He is friendly, loving, a true servant, a faithful husband and father, and he loves God and the Bible. Also, it doesn't hurt either that he knows how to preach a good sermon. He was my "Paul" for a whole year, and I am grateful for his discipleship and his friendship.

Eric said...


Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it. I very much enjoyed our time together as well.

I'm also glad that you didn't vote for Rob Bell or Joyce Meyer.

Alice C. said...

I think you should put your satire disclaimer at the top of the post. People will think you've lost your mind!

Eric said...


Good idea. Thanks. You are the best.

Love, Eric

Aussie John said...


In every satire there is an element of truth.

I have never met you, but I'm beginning to think Micah is right!

Bad Catholic said...

Greetings from Rome! (That's Rome IT-LY not Rome, Jawga).

Since I can't vote for anyone who has passed on then I can't vote for Pope John Paul II and will have to cast my ballot for All Star Pastor for His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI.

My Bishop, the Right Reverend Kevin Boland of the Diocese of Savannah, Georgia is pretty awesome too, as is my parish priest Father Jacek Szuster! As a matter of fact all of the Catholic Clergy in our Diocese Rock!

Snide remarks from the Baptists are eagerly awaited.

Eric said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eric said...


Thank you for the compliment.

This weird phenomenon of all-star pastors seems to be growing all the time here in the USA. It's not healthy for the church. I wonder why we can't just look to Christ instead of adoring man.

Eric said...

Bad Catholic,

Sorry I forgot to include some Catholics on this list. I guess that just shows how Baptist I am.

Joe G. said...

I vote for Peter, the first and best pastor!

Eric said...


This was supposed to be satire, but just out of curiosity - Where was Peter pastor?