My wife and I have had numerous conversations with other believers about the church. Some have been good discussions, while other have been less so. We try to avoid arguments at all costs. In the end, we hope that others will at least understand where we are coming from. Some do while others don't.
In general we do not try to change other people's minds about church. All believers have been called to be witnesses to Christ, not to a particular form of church. We are to make disciples, not make converts to simple church life. That said, we do wish that most believers we talk with could at least understand why we believe what we do.
The difficulty (and this may be your experience as well) is that many Christians have not ever given much thought to the issue. They have simply lived out institutional church life as they have been taught. Again, I'm faulting no one in this. It is just the way it is.
We should not expect other Christians to understand us. The reason for this is that most believers have no framework in which to place these discussions. Since they've never thought about it, it makes almost no sense to them. They see no problems with the way they live church life. Rather, they probably think things are going along swimmingly where they attend. Because of this, we should not expect them to gain a firm grasp of why we don't "go to church," why we meet in homes, why we don't have a pastor, why we eat together each week, why we don't listen to sermons, why we sit is small groups, etc.
Despite this, we can and should hope that they will eventually understand. Through many conversations it is quite possible, even likely, that they will begin to comprehend why we believe what we do. This will take grace, patience, and understanding on our part. We did not come to our conclusions about church overnight.
This is all secondary to gospel issues of course. And yet, it sure would be nice if those closest to us knew why we do what we do. Let's hope to bring about fruitful dialogue that will lead to their understanding. This is not with the goal of changing their minds (although it would be fine if they did). Rather, it is so that they will understand and respect the conclusions we've come to.
They may not understand, but I hope they will.