On the one hand, we desire unity because Christ expects it (see John 17 as just one example). Additionally, since we are positionally one in Christ, we should desire to live like it. Furthermore, unity brings joy.
On the other hand, we hope and long for reform within the broader church of Christ. This, of course, can take various forms but in general follows biblical commands and models. My guess is that we've all attempted to discuss these sorts of things with other believers. Sometimes the conversations go well, but at other times they do not. Like me, you may have been referred to as "divisive" because of the the topics you have brought up.
The manner in which we have conversations can certainly help, but in the end if you press your point about church reform, some will see you as a cause of division within the body of Christ.
We end up in a sort of continual tension. We hope for unity and we hope for reform. The two can go together but experientially they often do not.
What do we do? We hope and pray that they can go together. We speak the truth in love. We talk about reform, but we seek unity to a greater degree. If we fault in one direction, let's let it be unity.
If you seek both unity and church reform, you will likely have to deal with this tension for the remainder of your life. I'm thankful that come our eternity in heaven, we will be perfectly united and devoid of tension.